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To all good-looking men

With a bed post needing notches

Good luck with the forest

The wilderbeasts and sasquatches

The dragons are two-headed

So they can eat you twice as fast

They'll tear you limb from limb

And eat your screams up last

You might, maybe, may escape alive

With your intestines as a necklace

There's nothing like that special thrill

Of not being eaten for breakfast

The tourism department

Call it a unique nature walk

But recommend a chainsaw 

A machete and tomahawk

I know you'll try anyway

'Specially after beer

Just please proceed with caution

Under my underwear